What should I do if my child refuses an exchange?
The moment is stressful and you want to handle it carefully.
Last reviewed May 07, 2026
Short answer
Stay calm, focus on the child's immediate needs, write down what happened, and save messages or records. If safety or urgent care is involved, seek local urgent help.
Focus on the child first
Keep the immediate moment as calm as you can.
Write down practical needs like safety, comfort, time, and location.
Record what happened
Write the date, time, place, who was present, and what the child said or did.
Use exact words if you remember them.
Save communication
Save messages about the exchange.
If you send a message, keep it short and focused on the exchange plan.
Watch for repeat issues
One refusal is one event.
If it repeats, a dated log can help you see the pattern more clearly.
What to do first
Write the date, time, place, what happened, and any message sent about the exchange.
What to save
- Exchange date and time
- Location
- Who was present
- Child's exact words if known
- Messages about the exchange
- Any safety or care notes
What to avoid
- Blaming the child in your notes
- Writing guesses as facts
- Sending heated messages
- Ignoring urgent safety concerns
Start with one small step
Create a calm dated record of what happened, who was present, and what messages were sent.
Save this exchange eventEqualora is educational software. This is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship.