Costs · Preparation
Pre-Divorce Checklist: Getting Your Ducks in a Row
Divorce is emotional, confusing, and often expensive. Getting organized early doesn’t fix everything, but it can lower anxiety and help you make calmer decisions when it matters most.
Educational only — not legal advice. For legal advice, talk to a licensed attorney or your court’s self-help center.
What you’ll get from this checklist
- Key documents to gather before and during the divorce process
- Practical to-dos to reduce surprises and last-minute chaos
- A simple structure for what to have “in order” as your case moves forward
You don’t have to do everything in one day. Think of this as a calming roadmap — not a judgment of where you “should” already be.
1. Documents you’ll likely need
Courts, lawyers, and mediators all tend to ask for the same kinds of information: income, expenses, assets, debts, and anything related to the children. Gathering it now means you’re not hunting through old emails the night before a deadline.
Income & work documents
- Recent pay stubs (usually last 2–3 months)
- Last 2–3 years of tax returns (personal and, if applicable, business)
- W-2s, 1099s, or other income statements
- Any unemployment, disability, or other benefit statements
- Employment contracts or offer letters, if you have them
Bank, credit, and debt records
- Statements for all bank accounts (joint and individual)
- Credit card statements (joint and individual)
- Loan documents (car, personal, consolidation, student loans)
- Mortgage statements or home equity lines of credit
- Any collections or past-due notices
Assets, property, and retirement
- Deeds or records for any real estate you own or co-own
- Vehicle titles and registration documents
- Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA, pensions) — recent account statements
- Brokerage or investment account statements
- Business ownership records (if you or your spouse own a business)
Kids, school, and health-related items
- Birth certificates for each child
- Any existing court orders or parenting plans
- School records: report cards, attendance issues, special plans (IEP/504)
- Health insurance cards and plan information
- Important medical records or diagnoses for the kids
Existing legal and financial agreements
- Any prior court orders (support, custody, restraining orders)
- Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
- Life insurance policies (with beneficiary information)
- Any written agreements you already have around parenting or money
Tip: In Equalora, you can upload these into Documents, tag them, and connect them to your case so you’re not sorting through random folders later.
2. To-dos before (and as) divorce begins
These aren’t about “beating” the other parent. They’re about protecting your ability to function — housing, income, safety, and a basic sense of order for you and your kids.
Build a simple money snapshot
- Make a list of monthly bills (housing, utilities, insurance, etc.).
- Write down minimum payments for all debts.
- Note your current income and any expected changes.
- Identify any automatic payments coming from joint accounts that may need to be adjusted later.
Check safety and communication boundaries
- If there is any risk of violence, talk with a local DV hotline or advocate about safety planning.
- Screenshot or save important messages that show patterns (about kids, schedules, or agreements) — not to “win,” but to keep a clear record.
- Consider using more neutral channels for communication about the kids (co-parenting apps, email) instead of emotional text threads.
Prepare key accounts and access
- Update passwords for your personal email and cloud storage.
- Make sure you can access your own bank accounts and important documents.
- If you share devices, think about privacy (separate logins, securing sensitive information).
- Keep all changes within the law and any existing court orders — no hiding assets or locking the other parent out of joint funds.
Start a calm parenting log
- Track basic parenting facts: exchanges, missed visits, schedule changes, notable school/health events.
- Keep your tone neutral — imagine a judge reading it, not a friend.
- Note positives too (cooperation, good visits), not just problems. It shows balance and child-focus.
Build a small support team
- Identify 1–3 people who can be steady, not just angry on your behalf.
- If possible, visit your court’s self-help center or legal aid to learn about your local process.
- If you can afford a consult with a lawyer, bring your key documents and questions so it’s efficient.
In Equalora, you can turn these into Deadlines and Tasks so you’re not carrying everything in your head.
3. Things to have in order before and during divorce
Think of this as a “minimum viable structure” for a stressful season. You don’t have to be perfect — just clear enough that you know what’s happening with your case, your money, and your kids.
A simple case overview
- Current court case number and county/state (if filed).
- Whether your case is about divorce, custody, support, or all three.
- Upcoming hearings or deadlines with dates on a calendar.
- A one-page “snapshot” of your main goals for the kids and for stability.
A draft parenting rhythm
- What the current schedule really looks like (not just what’s ordered).
- Any patterns that help your kids (bedtime, homework, activities) you’d like to protect.
- A rough idea of holidays, birthdays, and school breaks you’d like to share fairly.
Later, this can be turned into a more formal parenting plan or proposal.
A calm communication plan
- Decide which topics go in writing (school, health, schedule).
- Use short, child-focused messages; avoid arguing by text about the past.
- If communication is volatile, consider asking a lawyer or the court (when appropriate) about structured channels.
A realistic self-care baseline
- Non-negotiables: sleep, food, medication, basic movement.
- One or two short practices that help you settle (walk, journaling, breathing, check-in with a friend).
- A plan for what you’ll do on “court days” or tough kid-transition days to reset afterward.
Turning this checklist into a real system
A checklist is helpful. A system you can lean on is even better.
Equalora is built so parents can:
- Upload and tag key documents in one secure place.
- Track deadlines and hearings without sticky notes and screenshots.
- Use tools like the Judge Simulator and Court Lens™ Deep Review to practice clear, judge-friendly communication.
Equalora isn’t a law firm and doesn’t provide legal advice. Content and tools are educational only.