Checklist: Getting Ready for Your First Custody Hearing

1) Know what the hearing is deciding

• Is this temporary orders, a status/review, a settlement conference, or trial?
• What issues are actually on the table today (custody, parenting time, communication, exchanges, etc.)?
• Write your request in one sentence. Example: “I’m requesting a consistent 2-2-3 schedule with exchanges at school.”

If you can’t explain what you want in one sentence, your request is probably too broad.

2) Bring the “minimum effective” documents

Most parents over-collect. Judges prefer fewer, stronger exhibits. Bring what proves your key points.

• Current orders and any recent minute orders
• A 1–2 page timeline summary (dates + events + why it matters)
• Only the exhibits that prove the most important facts
• Any required forms your court expects for that hearing

If it doesn’t help the judge decide today’s issue, leave it out.

3) Prepare a judge-friendly timeline (fast)

Use four columns. It prevents rambling and turns chaos into something a court can use:

• Date (specific)
• Event (one sentence)
• Child impact (routine, stability, safety)
• Proof (exhibit name, record type, etc.)

4) Practice your 30-second summary

Under stress, people talk too long. Practice this pattern out loud:

You’re not trying to win an argument. You’re trying to be easy to follow.

5) Hearing-day rules that keep you credible

• Answer the question asked. Then stop.
• Don’t guess. If you don’t know, say so.
• Don’t argue about character. Anchor to dates, patterns, and child impact.
• If triggered: pause → breathe → return to facts → return to your request.